but that was before I found out that she was a most skilled liar.
How does one forget and forgive? I need help to do this.
These two were most important to us at one time. My spouse and I were their best man/matron of honor. We are Godparents to their lovely children, ages 4 and 6. Yet somewhere amidst all the comfortable comraderie and love... it was a lie.
I know this because this woman that I confided in about my deepest secrets and desires, had a secret life of which she told me nothing. A lie here, a lie there... and she wove the tapestry of a false friendship with the skill of a master weaver.
I have watched her take a man and destroy him by inches. I have felt the weakening of a friendship as I keep trying to believe that maybe -- maybe this time it will be different, she will return to being the person I once knew and admired.
Did that person ever exist or was it just one more clever lie that she took the pains to make so very believable?
How do I forget and forgive. How do I give just one.. more.. chance.
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2 comments:
There will always be people like your friend(or former friend). Sometimes I think that there are more people like her that people who are true. I do find it ironic that somehow you meet the same kind of people that I encounter. I had a friend like that once. She too made me believe that she's my friend, only to find out that she'll use whatever confidences I shared with her to her advantage and ruined my chance at happiness.
You're asking how does one forget, I don't think you ever do, but it does fade, in time. To forgive? I'm not at that stage yet and it's been more than 8 years. This might actually depend on the degree of betrayal.
These situations are never easy. This was partly the reason why I ended up staying here in CA, why I started a life far from the one that I'm used to. I'm trying to limit the possibility of us ever meeting again.
Maybe I need more time and you definitely will need time to grow strong again. To accept other peoples weaknesses and their need to hurt other people. I think you're lucky in a sense, your experience with your sister will help you in this. I've been told that life and death situations help people forgive others because of newfound appreciation of how short life can be.
The way I look at it, and I've had this happen to me...is that they have their own path, and there may be a lesson to be learned from it; not to stop trusting others, but to watch out for this in the future. When someone keeps hurting you and hurting you, you have to detach at some point and see what kind of script they're writing; and then step away from it.
I know what I mean to say, but am not sure it's coming out right. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Some things in my life have been too painful to forgive. So I have to detach, and wait for time to heal.
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