A New Year's Greeting

So.. I was relaxing the day after new year's when the phone rang. My spouse answered (I actually hate talking on the phone and usually avoid it if I can) and gave me a bemused look as he walked over to hand the phone to me. "It's your sister," he said. And so it was. My sister called to wish ME a happy new year.

Let me tell you a bit about my sister for those that don't know, and provide a bit of an update for those of you that do. About 2 1/2 years ago, she and all of us really.. were devastated at the news that she had cancer. Not just any cancer.. but cancer that had spread so quickly that although she was just initially being diagnosed, it was considered stage IV. For those of you not in the know.. just realize that stage IV is about as bad as it can get.

Why does shit happen to good people?

I spent a good bulk of my Christmas break running to and from her house. My middle daughter is home on college break and she has spent time there as well, helping out with my nephew.. who is five -- as well as caring for Kathy's pride and joy, her arabian, Catawba. It was hectic. It was strenuous. I honestly felt as though I had very little rest during this break. Yet -- I feel good about it.

You see, there are two things people do in situations like this.

One -- you avoid it. You tell yourself that things can't possibly be as bad as it seems, that there's no need for you to go visit -- after all, things are FINE. really. And by the time you allow yourself to realize things were never fine, it is too late. Regrets are a bitch.

Two -- you make yourself available. You go and visit. You help out every way you can think of, from preparing meals to chitchatting, to just .. listening. You let your family member know he/she is important to you, that you love him/her and that you suppport him/her in every way you can. It is so hard... but in the end, the regrets are smaller, although the pain is more intense.

So anyway. Kathy called me to check up on ME. You know, even in her pain and her desperate situation in which there is so little hope, she took time out of her day to let me know that SHE cared about ME. It made me cry... and I do not cry easily.

Even as I try to take care of her as the clock begins to wind down, she is there for me. How could I ever stay away in her moment of need?